MURPHY

We are missing our little Murphy more than words can convey. The house seems so still because I can't hear his dog tags rattling as he walked in or turned over in his bed. I miss his scratching on the door. I miss him standing between my legs as I washed dishes or fixed dinner. I find myself checking his bed to see if he is inside or out whenever I go somewhere. (I can't get rid of his bed yet, it is still comforting to see it there on the floor.) I thought I was used to being alone when the kids were at college last year, but now I realize what an important and amazing presence Murphy was. I was never really alone while he was here. Now I feel so lonesome. I miss worrying whether he got his insulin shot or not. I keep checking his water bowl to make sure it is full. I also miss hearing Tristan coming into the house after work talking to Murphy and hearing the love he had for his dog.


I think Heavenly Father created loving pets to bless our lives. Murphy was never mad at us. He always greeted us with a happy wag of his tail and when he was younger, he would jump up with his front paws on our legs. He had a big heart of wanting to please us. He had perfect innocence and happiness. Heavenly Father created him to give us joy, and as I think back on all the memories, we were all happier and more loving because of Murphy. Now that he is gone, I see that clearly. He was one of Heavenly Father's tender mercies with which he blessed our family.

I talked with our vet today and he thinks Murphy's heart wore out. He also thinks we are really blessed that he went so peacefully and didn't suffer a long time before he died. I think that was Murphy's last way of telling us he loved us too, that he didn't want to be too much of a bother to us.

I hope he is feeling better and younger and is happy in heaven chasing dog leashes like he used to with Parker.

We miss you and love you Murph. It just won't be the same without you.


"Dogs are not our whole life; but they make our lives whole." Roger Caras

A Really Sad Day

Last night Kaitlin and Parker moved back to BYU. This morning I got up and left for Salt Lake to tend Lara's boys while they are at Lake Powell. I left just after Tristan had gone to work. He called me this afternoon and told me that when he went home he found that Murphy had died. He was lying on the carpet in the garage where he usually takes a nap. He was all alone at home by himself. We are so sad. Tristan is having a really hard time as he is the only one home to take care of him. What a faithful, loving companion he has been to us for just short of fifteen years. We really feel the loss. When I get home, I'll have to post some pictures of him. It is a hard, sad and emotional day.

Lake Powell!

Tristan and I decided to take Kaitlin and Parker for a quick, last get-a-way before school starts next week. We left early last Friday morning and were out on Lake Powell by noon. We had a great day with amazing water.

My little baby Kaitlin...


Parker and Chelsey jumping off a cliff


Tristan looks young with his spiked hair!

Parker riding high

We stayed in a hotel and got up Saturday morning and headed back to the lake. The water wasn't as smooth as it was on Friday. We finally anchored the boat in a secluded cove, got off on the beach and started playing some card games. Shortly after we began, we looked over the rocks and saw a huge sand storm approaching. We took down the canopy, folded up the chairs and ran to grab the boat. The wind and waves were so strong that the anchor wouldn't hold. As bad as it was in our little cove, it was even worse out in the main part of the bay.

Sandstorm approaching our cove!

There were some really nice people from California in a houseboat parked next to us. They were worried about us and came over and offered us a big sea anchor. They helped us set it and secure the boat and then invited us in for dinner! They were SO NICE! We loved visiting with them. Finally, it was after 8:00 p.m. and the winds had calmed so we decided that we had better head for the ramp. We were about an hour up the lake so we were kind of nervous knowing that we would be on the lake when night fell.

We followed the lighted buoys all the way back. We were so grateful for those little specks of light to guide us. They were few and far between, so we had to watch closely for them. As soon as we would pass one, we were on the lookout for the next one. It reminded me of how we should be living the gospel, clinging to that iron rod, using the scriptures, listening to the Holy Ghost, and listening to the prophet.

When we got back to within sight of the lights on the shore, the water was really smooth. Parker is a really good wake boarder and we often tell him that he looks like he is dancing on the moonlight when he is out there (and we also play the song.... :) Anyway, when we hit that smooth water, even though it was almost dark of night, he had to get out there and try it. We were the only boat on the lake and it was really fun to watch him get one last smooth "dance" ...and it really was in the moonlight.

Can you see his white wakeboard out there in the water as he gets ready to go???

Tie to the Past

I just had a really emotional experience and anyone who reads this will just think I am nuts. The organist in our ward is always asking me to get ready to play the organ and help her. She called a couple of weeks ago and needs a substitute the last week of August. She called far in advance to give me plenty of time to practice. I took a deep breath and finally told her yes. I met her at the church this morning where she showed me how to operate the new organ there. I was so nervous. Then she left me and I started playing. It has been so many years since I have touched an organ. Maybe it was my nerves, but tears welled up in my eyes so that I could hardly read the music. IT FELT SO GOOD! I didn't realize how much I love the organ and how much I have missed it. There is nothing like playing those foot petals and hearing that deep bass. It has been years and years and years since I last played. I am so scared to try it again especially in front of our ward. But practicing it made me so emotional (in a good way). It took me back and connected me to myself from the past. It made me feel like ME again, not someone's wife, someone's mother, or someone's friend. It was just the old ME and the now ME up there on that bench.

I used to play the organ in my ward when I was growing up. My official calling was Sunday School organist, but every summer the sacrament meeting organist took off for the summer so I would play for him in Sacrament Meeting and in Priesthood meeting (back when there wasn't a three hour block.) I also played for the Primary and Young Women. I was never as nervous then or afraid. Today I have no confidence of my youth and I am scared to death! I practiced a whole hour (probably never did that before either) and had to drag myself away. My foot was going numb. I am so rusty, but it felt so good. Anyway, I went to the grocery store afterwards and had to make myself quit crying. Do you think I am crazy??? Crazy or not, I have had a wonderful morning.

Bragging Rights

Yesterday Tristan and I drove up to Provo so we could be there early this morning to watch Lara, Mike, and Kaitlin run a half marathon. Last night we all stayed in a hotel and this morning they left at 4:45 a.m. to be bused up Provo Canyon for the start of the race. Mike showed up last night with old shoes (non-running casual shoes). Lara and I had a fit and ran to the K-MART(!!! only store open!!!) across the street at 9:30 pm and bought him some shoes to run in. They were on sale for $13.95!!! Half price!!! HA! Still better than the old ones he planned on running in. The shoes were the least of our worries for Mike. He just decided to do the race yesterday and hadn't even done a practice run or any kind of run as his knee has been bothering him. He said he just wanted to support his sisters. I even told him last night if he couldn't make it to tell someone and they would bring him down off the mountain.

Kaitlin had the flu a couple of weeks ago and was barely back into running. I worried she would have a hard time, also. Lara was prepared, however, and rarin' to go.

Tristan and I got to the finish line to greet them as they ran across. Mike had ALREADY come in and was there to greet us. We were so amazed! And he loved his shoes. HA! Then a few minutes later Lara and her friend crossed the line BEFORE their goal time. Then just a few minutes later, here came Kaitlin way BEFORE her goal time!!!

It was a fun day. Mike said he will have to get KMart to sponsor him as he runs :) They all have bragging rights about the day, but I have the most bragging rights because I am their mother and love them all and am so proud of them! Isn't it fun that they can do all the work and I can enjoy bragging about it!

Reincarnation

Is it possible to have one life and then have another life and then another? I have always thought reincarnation was baloney, but lately I may be changing my mind. A couple of weeks ago, I found some pictures of myself and my roommates at college. The pictures were taken on those old cameras that had flash cubes and are grainy, faded, and discolored. I decided to scan them and make a little DVD of them to send to my roommates. I had such great fun spending time with wonderful college memories. Sometimes, however, when I look at those pictures of myself, it seems like it was someone else. I can hardly remember being that person. It feels like it was a life before I was reincarnated to who I am now. How does that happen? Sometimes when I look at pictures of me with our young children, I can hardly remember being that person, either. Maybe there is something to reincarnation???